“I believe in you.”
How many times have you heard this in your life? When did you hear it? What difference did it make to you?
In moments of sincerity when we reach for the words I believe in you, we are digging deep into our emotions and our instincts, so deep that it can feel like this feeling of belief is spoken from beyond our consciousness, far beyond our thinking – this is the feeling we’re trying to explain when we use the expression speaking from the heart. We are digging so deep that this feeling of belief can feel like it is spoken from our whole self – this is the feeling we’re trying to explain when we use the expression I’m fully behind you. These metaphorical expressions are our attempts, bound by the limitation of language itself, to convey that feeling that we believe.
In solution focused therapy, we believe in the client:
- so we ask questions that help them to develop and rediscover their belief in themselves;
- so we value and make time to listen to and understand their perspectives and tailor the therapy to them;
- and so we trust them to choose what it is they need to work on and what it is that works for them at a level of engagement that is right for them.
But, crucially, we also believe in the process itself:
- so we transfer our confidence to the client;
- so we stick to the structure and questions that we know will ultimately support the client to open doors to a new way of thinking;
- and so that we can sit beside, rather than before, the client on their journey, as a discrete guide, trusting that the process will take the client where they want to go.